Space Dream by Dragos Dinca (fragment)

Chapter 11

'Have you ever loved your children, Eim?'

 

It was a long time ago when they had that conversation. As usual Atlas was standing his back to Dr Eim, watching the silent destroyer through a huge window of his office, and that time there was hint of sadness in his voice.

 

The doctor smiled in embarrassment, sometimes Atlas used to share some nonsense Eim didn't know how to react to.

 

'But sir, as far as I am concerned, humans can't have children…'

 

'You know what I mean.'

 

'Well… If you talk about our students, they are of course important, I'd say they all have remarkable potential, but so far we don't have any exact results…'

 

'Are they important just because they have remarkable potential?'

 

Eim put on a nervous smile, something hinted him that he gave a wrong answer.

 

'They are quite similar to you and me, Eim,' Atlas went on. 'The only thing they lack to be like us is a freedom to make a mistake. We have deprived them of this freedom so that they could witness a new dawn, the world they deserve. So tell me, Eim, how many mistakes are we going to make to be able to grant them this love?'

 

It sounded just another nonsense at that time. But now it seemed to Eim that he learnt the meaning of those words the hardest way. As he was desperately waiting for Lee to come to his senses, he rolled events of last night in his memory over and over again. This child had a dream, the dream they both shared, but he abandoned it selflessly just to save Eim. It was something Eim could never do before.

 

'Mended the hull… Well, kinda.'

 

Onica showed herself in the medbay doorway. The fierce defiance she once showed toward Eim was gone, instead she just avoided his gaze sheepishly. Her clothes and skin were smeared with soot from mending the ship while Eim fought to save Lee's health.

 

Eim sighed, distracted from his thoughts and straightened his shoulders, giving Onica a warm look.

 

'You did well, Onica. Thank you.'

 

'I could've harmed him, right?' she said nervously. 'I mean… I saw stuff - the flames… They were right in my eyes. What if I can't get rid of them?'

 

'Those were flames of your emotions, and you managed to suppress them, you are getting stronger, my dear. But you will never be able to extinguish them completely, and it is not needed, as it's the source of your power. Still, be careful not to let it overwhelm you.'

 

'I will.' Onica's voice became solid and resolved. 'I will never give in to this power, and I will never harm my family.'

 

Eim didn't know what that 'family' meant, as he was sure she was referring to Lee.

 

'Tell me… You might have guessed that you and Lee are not from the same planet. Why do you keep calling him brother?'

 

'We might not be siblings, but we've grown into ones. And you will never take it from us.'

 

'I understand. I mean… I start understanding.'

 

Eim recalled what Atlas told him. Maybe it was some kind of a special bond these two shared that helped them evolve and strengthen their power. And now he found his bond too.

 

'Doctor, I wanted… Well, I wanted to thank you.'

 

A brief smile flashed on his face, he felt that Onica's trust was something special, though he was reluctant to take credit.

 

Suddenly Eim and Onica both held their breath as Lee struggled to open his eyes.

 

'Damn, Lee you're a rusty dirk! You freaked us out!'

 

The young man laughed weakly, hearing sister's familiar tone.

 

'How are you feeling, Lee?' Eim said gently.

 

'I'm fine, really…'

 

Suddenly Lee realised that it was the first time for a great while when Eim called his name. Not even that, now he was holding his hand, looking him in the eyes with his reassuring smile Lee loved so much, and Lee forgot how to say words.

 

'And… So… did we?..'

 

'Yes, we are safe for now.'

 

'And how's Anchor?..'

 

Eim slightly shook his head with the same peaceful smile.

 

'I'm afraid it will be his last flight.'

 

Despair and confusion reflected in Lee's eyes. Anchor was Eim's favourite shuttle, and yet he was so calm about it?

 

'I am so sorry, Dr Eim, I didn't mean to…'

 

'That's alright, my love. All in all, it's not a pilot who serves a ship, but a ship serves a pilot, right?'

 

Lee rounded his eyes. The changes in a way how Eim spoke to him made the youngster blush and smile timidly, which, however, disgusted Onica. It used to be unbearable to see Eim pretend, but now that he wasn't, it was even worse.

 

'Is there anything to be done?'

 

'Lee, don't be stupid! If there had, I would've done it first, who's damn mechanic here?'

 

'Don't worry, my dear Lee,' said Eim peacefully. 'We aren't going to be abandoned anyway.'

 

He raised his eyes at the brimming light somewhere in depths of dark cosmos. Atlas' skiffs!

 

'Stripped gears, I gonna send another signal!' Onica said, too excited to remember that their beacon was broken as well. 'Or maybe… I dunno, shout or something.' 

 

'Onica!'

 

Lee caught her at the doorway.

 

'I don't know what you did, but it was awesome.'

 

'Pfft, who else could pull that off but me?' said Onica and saluted before setting out to come up with some excuses - their first meeting with skiffs didn't go very well.

 

Eim took Lee's hand.

 

'I want to show you something, Lee. Do you remember the link we had?'

 

The youngster held his breath, when he saw a weak glow between their hands.

 

'There were two planets in our system, Icarus-4L and Icarus-5L. Both were made entirely of water, each with a bright, luminous core. They moved around one another, and their gravity pulled streams of rain through the space between them.'

 

Lee listened to Eim in awe, imagining two planets in love.

 

'Is one of them the planet you are from?'

 

Eim smiled, caressing Lee's hand.

 

'Yes. And you are from the other one. I think now I remember who I was looking for.'

 

Lee felt his heartbeat dance out of the rhythm, but he dared to make a guess:

 

'You didn't want to board the shining ship until you found me?'

 

'We are related, Lee. I never understood it before.'

 

Suddenly their intimacy was disturbed by Onica.

 

'Guys, guess we're having a problem…'

 

Eim joined her on the bridge to see a shocking picture - the destroyer was visibly growing, his iris shining brighter with every moment.

 

'What the bolt is it?' said Onica, with hints of fear in her voice.

 

'I don't know… Seems, he devoured a source of power.'

 

'You mean, another planet?'

 

'Perhaps, but… No planet with known mass could give him such a boost. His gravitation is expanding and the Radiance won't come in time, we need to get out of here now. Onica, prepare the ship for the warp.'

 

With these words he went to the cockpit, and Lee rushed to follow him.

 

'Let me pilot, I feel completely fine!'

 

'You've just recovered, but not the ship. It will be too painful to merge.'

 

Lee wanted to say something, but Eim had already taken the position of a pilot, and the moment vines went under his skin he grimaced out of pain. Then he smiled to Lee, who was watching him pale out of concern.

 

'Will you share some power with me?'

 

***

 

Lumi came to her senses in a white, empty ward. It was almost as white as the snow on the day of her birth, which used to be blinding and painful. Back then she managed to find some goggles on the icicle-like ship, but now she wore no goggles, and still the white wasn't hurting her. As Lumi touched her face she found herself blindfolded with a piece of smooth cloth transparent from the inside. She also noticed that there were no boots or coat on her but warm soft pyjamas.

 

She had no chance to get surprised, when the door opened, revealing a man she dreaded to see the most.

 

'How are you feeling, my dear? Oh, don't worry, I won't hurt you.'

 

'Where is Mattias?' said Lumi quietly, pressing herself against the deepest wall, like a captured animal.

 

Eim frowned, loosing his smile, and looked away. Seemed, that he had no good news for Lumi.

 

'I want to see Mattias!' Lumi shouted.

 

Eventually Eim nodded and gave her way. Cautiously glancing at him, Lumi walked out of the ward and ended up in a long dark hallway with lots of windows to different wards on the side. Eim escorted her to the next ward, where Mattias was lying inside the open pod.

 

'Mattias!'

 

Lumi ran into the ward and kneeled beside the man, clinging to his arm. He was burning with fever.

 

'Mattias…' Lumi repeated, as her blindfold began dripping with tears. 'It all ended as you said. Ennie is gone and now you… Lumi has to rely on her power, right? But Lumi has no power, and she doesn't know what to do! Lumi is just a scared dummy, you know that best!' 

 

The girl sniffled and wiped her face with a sleeve, forcing herself to calm down.

 

'No. Lumi won't leave you here. If everything depends on Lumi, Lumi won't leave you here!'

 

She looked at her hands, hesitant for a moment, and then pressed them against Mattias' forehead. Cold began expanding throughout his body, draining the heat from within. The frosty mist spread out inside the pod, fell onto the floor and fluttered up to the ceiling, creeping on walls in icy patterns. Lumi shivered and squinted, trying not to watch the ice eat the Power Core, pierce the generator, bury the base, the ocean, everything around…

 

Mattias moved weakly under her hands, and the horrible vision dissipated.

 

'You're back! Mattias!'

 

'No, no, stay away! Oh, come on…'

 

While Mattias was trying to free himself from the trap of Lumi's embrace, Eim couldn't help intervening and entered the room.

 

'Truly fascinating…' he said, examining Mattias from head to toe.

 

'Lumi, please, can you stand still for a while? There, in the corner, yes, thank you.'

 

As soon as Lumi took several steps back to a safe distance, Mattias stood up, fixed his clothes and gave Eim a heavy slap. The doctor had to cling to the table so as not to fall down, pressing his hand over bleeding nose. This hardly could satisfy Mattias, but to Eim's luck Lee and Onica were attracted by the noise in the ward, and Lee was quick to draw him farther away.

 

'You'd better tried harder to erase my memories, 'cause I remember well how you left us behind!'

 

Mattias attacked Eim as a violent beast, and Lee could barely hold him back, so Onica had to join, although reluctantly. Some things Eim did deserve.

 

'Where was your courage when you left a little child on the frozen planet? Come here, you son of a soot, I'm not done!'

 

Lumi was excited to see Mattias avenging her, whereas Lee and Onica didn't manage to hold the man, and Mattias burnt the wall with his fist not far from Eim's head - Lee managed to slow down his movements in time. However, Eim didn't rush to defend himself, although he was capable to control Mattias.

 

'Wait, wait, tell us first who you damn are and what's the crankshaft is going on.'

 

Onica frowned thoughtfully and slowly approached Mattias, trying to look at him from different angle. She couldn't avoid the feeling that she knew him.

 

'Wait… Teacher?'

 

Mattias grimaced in annoyance and tried to hide the face from his former student. He wasn't pleased to be reminded of the role he didn't really excel at, especially considering that Onica never managed to train for anything beyond a mechanic.

 

'I'm not a teacher, but an acclaimed scientist, and your rank is too low to have my attention.'

 

'Teacher! Exactly! You always spoke like that!' Onica exclaimed joyously.

 

Meanwhile Lee used a moment to position himself between the two men.

 

'Dr Eim, what is he talking about?'

 

'Yeah, tell them how you take people from their homes against their will and erase their memories, they might not remember your shame.'

 

'But you told… It's for us to forget the impact of the destroyer.'

 

'Haha! You couldn't see it, otherwise you weren't standing here now. You!' he turned to Onica. 'You were supposed to be asleep during the storm, but this dirk decided that you should sleep forever.'

 

Onica widened her eyes as nightmares slipped into her memories. No, they weren't just nightmares, and she had always known it. Back then, during the storm, she was in the shelter to wait for the SID to come, for Mattias.

 

Lee looked at Eim in disbelief.

 

'Is he telling the truth?'

 

Eim took his broken glasses from the floor and put them into the pocket to the pencil, as he didn't want to rush with answer.

 

'I am afraid yes, Lee. With one exception, we were actually going to return, but only after the destroyer makes you all evolve and bring back your memories of Icarus.'

 

The vision of sunny ocean with light rain appeared in Lee's head. He started to realise what Eim was talking about.

 

'You were trying to retrieve memories of the time when we weren't humans yet…'

 

'Stripped sprockets, wow! What a life I had before Ark…' Onica said sarcastically.

 

'You didn't come to save those people.' Lee said, watching Eim coldly. 'You were just waiting while they were drowning and freezing until they could be useful.'

 

The doctor sighed and touched bridge of his nose, but there were no glasses anymore.

 

'I admit, it was a long and painful way, but there was nothing else we could do. Everyone went through it, and me too, Lee! But the destroyer was growing and we got too few evolvers, we needed another plan. Then I decided to develop the tunnel theory, but I had to prove that it was possible to pass through the horizon of events…'

 

'So you've been plotting to toss us into the destroyer from the very beginning. This was your experiment all about?' Onica summed up.

 

Eim watched trust breaking in Lee's eyes. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but it could hardly change anything.

 

'Lee?' Onica tried to peer at his face. She was blaming herself that she couldn't save Lee from losing his naivety the hardest way, and reached for his shoulder, but her hand stopped half way.

 

She never heard Lee screaming and never seen his rage. When he lashed out at Eim, she could do nothing, but watching. Mattias didn't intervene and just covered Lumi's eyes, who found the show even more and more engaging.

 

'Enough.'

 

Eim and Lee were thrown into different directions with a powerful shining shield. A dark figure appeared in the doorway - a sullen middle-aged man.

 

'If you are ready to evolve back into sentient beings, I would like to attract your attention to more pressing issue.'

 

Everyone exchanged worried looks, as realisation came to them - the destroyer didn't vanish anywhere, it was still growing and it was coming after them. 

 

***

 

The doors of the SID headquarters opened to them, but no one could move any further, blinded by the dazzling sun. It was definitely there, inside the huge room, sewn with peaceful dreams, memories of the carefree childhood and a caring god.

 

'Icarus! It's our Icarus!'

 

Lumi rushed forward and tried to grasp bits of the enormous projection. Onica and Mattias followed her and with poignant sense of bittersweet they touched every piece of memory forming the forgotten life of their sun, even Lee and Eim were stunned to such an extent that they forgot about their fight.

 

'Sir, I can't believe my eyes. You've actually finished the map!'

 

Atlas was invisible in the shade near such a bright star. With calm, blissful smile he watched raging fiery planet of Icarus-2P in Mattias and Onica, cheerful frost of Icarus-6S in Lumi and affectionate rain between Icarus-4L and 5L - Eim and Lee.

 

'It took a while. I lacked some samples.'

 

Mattias felt his gaze on himself and Lumi. Fire flared in his eyes, and he rushed to hide the little girl behind his back.

 

'If we survive, I will smash your face too! You think you can act like a god here?!'

 

'I understand your anger, Mattias.'

 

With a brief gesture Atlas dissolved the projection of the star, and the view from the window changed to the terrific eye of the destroyer, now gradually bigger than ever. Lumi shrieked and hid behind Mattias, while Lee and Onica cautiously stepped back.

 

Atlas put the hands behind his back, slowly approaching, which made Mattias strain a bit.

 

'What I did wasn't an act of god. Someone should take the responsibility, and it had to be me.'

 

A grimace of hatred distorted Mattias' features.

 

'What did you do to Icarus?'

 

Atlas turned away and continued his walk to the window, watching the destroyer.

 

'I know it wasn't supposed to happen!' Mattias cried out after him. 'There is no evidence Icarus lived through the Devil stage, and I guess he lived too little even as the Radiant star!..'

 

'Stop it,' Atlas said weakly. He could feel everyone watching him with judgment in their eyes, this judgment was in the gaze of every star. 'If you want the truth, so be it.

 

When I was with Synod, I could see how stars and destroyers maintain the Order in the universe. Stars execute the predetermined history, every event and every life has its own time and place to be. They know every step, they predict every outcome but all the same at the end of the days they are destined to turn into destroyers. The Amber nebula was too old to continue its journey in time, and Synod was soon supposed to appear before the world as darkness. So when it started, when I lost my land of peace, my native planet, I realised that the Order, agreement between stars and destroyers, the flow of Time will reign forever, but without something that really mattered.'

 

Everyone averted looks as if they didn't want to be part of this story. They were afraid to realise that their fate had already been decided by unwavering gods.

 

'This led me to insanity, and I started to extinguish ancient stars before they could turn into destroyers. I wanted to challenge the Order, stop the Time and overcome death, so that the Amber nebula continued its existence. But I failed. For every star that was exiled, a new one will be born only to become a destroyer - this was how the Order responded. I believed that extinguishing a newborn star would be a right thing to do, but… I could not, I just… I could not do this to Icarus.'

 

The man leaned with his hands on the plinth with Ferratos, losing power in his shoulders. He didn't look like a god or even the mortal SID leader anymore, and his voice got week and powerless.

 

'When I came after him, he had already begun dreaming about planets. He was shining… beautiful. I could not exile him from the world he loved so dearly.' Atlas turned back, looking at everyone present to face the cold silence. 'So when he began transforming, I hid him from Synod at the hem of the Amber nebula.'

 

Atlas lowered his gaze on Ferratos.

 

'Of course they found out… But they would wait. Until Icarus becomes a massive destroyer and trespasses the boarder of their realms.'

 

'You might have saved the nebula from destroyers, but it doesn't excuse you anyway.' Although Mattias was shaken by Atlas' confession, he decided not to give in and remain strict. 'You acted more like a destroyer yourself when you were depriving planets and maybe whole nations of their suns!'

 

'Hold on, Mattias, dear friend,' Eim joined. 'On the other hand, otherwise there wouldn't be Icarus and well, us. Doesn't it mean that evolution was crucial to break the endless cycle?'

 

'What are you implying?' said Mattias with annoyance in his voice.

 

'I just want to say, that maybe this entire predicament is a trial for both Icarus and deviation in cosmic history - humans.'

 

'There is no trial, Eim,' Atlas said lifelessly. 'What we have now is a testimony of my failure. Nothing could be changed in the prophecy of stars. Icarus has appeared as one of destroyers to bring us to the beginning, and if he falls, there will be another one.'

 

Suddenly the wind rose in the deserted surface of the planet, and the sand started leaking into the cosmos. Everyone rushed to join Atlas at the window to see the horrifying picture. The destroyer was nearing.

 

'Okay, we got the point, but now we kinda need a plan…' said Onica nervously.

 

'It is too late. Soon Synod will raise their spears.' Atlas touched the window, seeing how the golden-haired boy set his foot among the winds. 'I am sorry, my little Icarus. I failed to heal you.'

 

'What? No! He's fine, he is still a star!' cried Lumi. 'Lumi and Mattias saw the Promised Land, tell them, Mattias!'

 

Everyone turned to Mattias, waiting for explanation and good news, but his gaze grew empty.

 

'There is no Promised Land.'

 

'What do you mean?' Lumi seemed to be startled with such an answer more than others. 'You were there! Together with Lumi, Ennie and little Icarus!

 

'What we saw was a vision. It was different for everyone. For me it was a desert, for Enitheris it appeared as green plains, and for Lumi it was similar to her planet - covered with snow. Everything suggests that this place was non-existent.'

 

'Is that so?' Atlas said thoughtfully. 'You are not wrong to think that there cannot be a planet inside a destroyer, it is not possible. But it can be created. The place you saw was woven with your memories of Icarus.'

 

Atlas called the projection of the sun map once again.

 

'If Icarus opened his mind to you, it means he is struggling to revert to his Radiant form. And if he gets all the memories humanity had of him, he will return his power.'

 

'So you mean that the Promised Land is yet to be born?' said Lee. 'Where are we then supposed to escape?'

 

'You can travel through facets, no?' Onica said, locking her gaze restlessly on the rising storm outside the window. 'Can we just I dunno… Fly somewhere out here?'

 

'Unfortunately. I can travel only to discovered facets, and Anchor database is now gone.'

 

'Facets…' Eim's face suddenly brightened up. 'This is the answer! I wasn't wrong about the tunnel, I was just mistaken about the destination… We can use Icarus to travel to another facet! The one we all remember!'

 

'The Promised Land…' Atlas began to follow his point.

 

'Exactly! This tunnel will lead us to the future, where Icarus-1 will have already been formed!'

 

'There is one problem, Eim. The future you are talking about can appear only when Icarus starts transforming, and we are short of time. If evolvers cross the horizon of events, the destroyer will start growing quicker, and Synod will react sooner than you manage to get to the right facet.'

 

'I can accelerate it,' Lee said confidently. 'As much as needed.'

 

'Such a risky jump will tire you quickly,' Eim said with doubt.

 

'Don't worry, I will refill his battery.' Onica stepped forward and shook her heavy fist, red with accumulated energy.

 

'And I will empower the spaceship. Lumi will assist me so that it couldn't overheat and fall apart,' said Mattias, while Lumi saluted readily.

 

'I am proud of you all,' said Atlas with a warm smile. 'Seems, Icarus is in safe hands.'

 

He looked into the sky, where a dangerous star was shimmering, sent by Synod to observe them. Then he laid his hand on Ferratos.

 

'Leave the rest to me, I will watch your back. Time to meet old family.'

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